


Tell me why

by what-would-eleven-do (glass_curtain)



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M, Letter, Mattex, POV First Person, letter-format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-05
Updated: 2012-10-05
Packaged: 2017-11-15 17:24:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/529716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glass_curtain/pseuds/what-would-eleven-do
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex wants to know why</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell me why

Because... Well?

Because you make me happy. I am happy when I'm with you. I'm already happy when I think about you, but when I'm with you... there is nothing else in the world. Nothing seems important anymore. Nothing seems THAT important anymore, just... being with you. You make me happy. That's why I'm probably always late for work after I've spent the night at your place. Even when we disagree about the little things. It's just making a point anyway. Sometimes in the middle of an argument I just look at you, notice something I've seen thousands of times, a look, a smile, you rolling your eyes at me or you trying to hide rolling your eyes... in the middle of an argument I'm happy to have you. To know you. So, that's a reason. You make me happy.

So, why do I love you? Well it's the same as why do you make me happy? It's because you do. It's not even something you do... I think. No. No, I'm sure it's not something you do, 'cause you didn't even want me to love you... fall in love with you.

Ok, sorry, never mind. Didn't plan on going there, won't go there...undone. Did not go there!

So, I love you because you make me happy. That's reason number one.

And I know exactly the look you have right now, but you should remember, at least it's better than 'I love you 'cause you're beautiful'. Can you imagine the look I would have gotten for that one being reason number one? Not only the look, but I would never heard the end of it. 'How shallow can you be?...' Just for later reference, you might want to take a piece of paper now and write down if you smiled at that. I think you did and that's also something that makes me happy. Honestly, I'm imagining you smiling right now and it makes me feel all warm and cuddly inside.

Since I didn't make it number one, I think it's at least adequately safe to make it number two. If not, feel free to move it further down the list. Yes, there are more reasons coming, I'm feeling inspired. Reason number two; because you're beautiful. Not just pretty, but really, really, really beautiful. Simple pretty women, don't look anything like you in the morning. I mean this in a good way, so don't get me wrong or if you didn't get it wrong never mind and forget I tried to point out that it is in fact a good thing that you don't look like a pretty woman in the morning. Ok, I just read that now myself; moving on. I love you 'cause you're beautiful. The first thing I noticed about you, was how stunning you looked. That was before we were even introduced so looking at you was all I had done up to that point. And after four years I still look at you and think the same thing. Every single time. Fine, maybe not every time, but most of the time and most definitely most of the time when we're alone. You still make me nervous and if we hadn't been introduced I probably woulnd't have had the nerve to even talk to you. Can you imagine me trying to chat you up without a warm up and a nice in from someone else? Imagining that always sets a fire hazard warning off in my head. I can seriously see myself setting fire to something on accident while trying to get my name out. Good thing that didn't have to happen. If it were to have happened, since I'm not almost definitely sure I wouldn't have approached you. Best case scenario, where I don't set fire to the whole surrounding still involves me making a complete fool out of myself and you taking pity on me and trying to get away from me as fast and far as you can in a nice way. Nothing nice about that picture.

The fire hazard kinda put me off track here. It's quite... real, when I think about it. I know I had more reasons though...

Yes, you're really, really smart. Almost as smart as me. And funny you, plus not just funny but we have the same sense of humor and you can totally laugh the 'almost as smart as me' off and not make me pay for it. That's why I love you. 

Also, I can see us in ten years, in twenty years, in thirty years and it's okay. It's not just okay, but I want this. Us together down the line. It's not scary, it doesn't make want to run. It's a good thing. A very good thing, honestly, trust me on this. I can't even commit to a pair of pants if I start imagining wearing it for more than a week. The future usually makes me itchy... nope, wrong word. Not itchy... I think I'll stick to scared. I've never ever been able to imagine myself with someone in the future and be happy at the same time. Before I met you it felt like being tied down in bad, bad way. Forced to do all the things that come with being with someone against my will. But I want you there and I want to be there with you. I want to be there when we have to go to that boring party, that's way too far away, but we can't say no now, because it's really last minute and we already promised to show up and they are expecting us and not showing up would be rude, so you make me go even though you don't want to go either and in the car it's my turn to convince you that it's for the best, that we make the five hour road-trip to see our friend even though we haven't seen them in like a year, because they live way too far away, which is ridiculous, plus only reachable through some illegal country roads...

So, I love you because I'm not scared when I picture us in the future. I'm just wondering who picked the brown fence, 'cause I definitely will be voting for a white one. A white picket-fence. So, it's weird that in my head we have a brown one. It's probably something you'll convince me off, maybe it's easier to maintain... or maybe I broke the white one and now it was your turn again to pick the color... or maybe the doves didn't see the white one and flew against the fence, so we had to repaint it... I don't know, but it's probably something like that. It's a strange house anyway, it's not on a beach or even near a beach, but we'll have lunch every Saturday down at the bay, 'cause I wanted to live near a bay, but you were tired of the beach, so we finally agreed, that we wouldn't live at the bay, but still walk there every Saturday. Even though the house is not even remotely located near a beach. I think the house is on the outskirts of London. Don't know why, but it feels like it's close to London. And I probably didn't really agree to it as much as you telling me that I could get my own place down at the beach and I could come and visit you at your lovely, dry house near the city. That's okay, though, so maybe we should just agree right now and find that house you want and I'll love just as much.

Ok, so, you make me happy, you're smart, beautiful, funny and everything I want for the rest of my life. I'm afraid that's all I could think of in the last hour... fine it took me two hours, but I got distracted looking at some pictures of us when I tried to come up with reasons why I love you. Who can blame me?

It's easy to love you. I didn't even have to think about it. I never though about it until now actually. I mean I never had to think about why I love you, 'cause I just do and that's also a good thing. At least that's what people tell you don't they? If you have to think about whether you love someone or don't, than you don't love them. Maybe I didn't even fall in love with you so much as just was in love with you from the start. It sounds right and would definitely explain why I couldn't answer your question on the spot. So 'Why do I love you?'. I think I was in love with you since the beginning of time and just had to finally meet you.


End file.
